Sunday, May 06, 2007

Whats left

I have given up hope about the situation at home. If there is a God, i hope you will listen to my prayers and take into consideration the vows that i have taken. I am not going to be the least bothered about the situation at home no more. I do know that it will affect me. my mood will go bad etc but i really can't lose who i am at the end of the day.

I recently realised that my personality has had a major change although many can't tell as i am pretty much the same on the surface.

Have to work on that. Besides, i feel that i am just ruining my own life and future by fretting over something that was not caused by me and does not revolve around me. If they are interested in patching up, so be it. If not, i am leaving it in the hands of whoever is out there. If they care about me they will try to fix the situation and help themselves. But i am not going to do a single thing about anything from now on.

Seriously, there is a limit to how much pressure i can take, there is a limit to the facade of being happy and fine when i am actually worried and depressed deep down inside. It may be wrong to swear but i swear that i am just sick and tired of all this.

Its not as if i don't have enough worries in my life that i have to carry the burden of your worries and make you happy at my expense. So thats it. Lesson learnt: If others want to live a happy and carefree life at my expense they can jolly well go lie in the mud because that is where they won't have to face any worries as i simply do not care anymore.

Call me selfish in this matter and i shan't give a toot about you as i have had it and thats my limit. I am still the same caring person that i used to be but don't expect me to trust easily from now on.

I swear this world is filled with selfish people and it just so happens to be that i have met the majority of them.

Moving on, i think i will make a shout out to Marlina. It was such a pity that you left and we couldn't meet you. I really wanted to meet you and pass you my note and the bangle/bracelet that i got for you. Hope you liked it. Besides, do keep in touch when i get the time to come on MSN or send you a email. Am really sorry for this late message as i have been bogged down by loads of things, one being the above mentioned issue. So i would just like to thank you for those great times that we spent together in school and i sincerley hope that you have a great life ahead and all your dreams come true. Cheers girl and take care.

So thats that and i am left filling a whole lot lighter. Now that i have tossed the burden off my shoulder, i can worry about my life and related problems.

So do expect the old girl that used to be up to crazy antics pretty soon.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home