Wednesday, June 20, 2007


All the depression is now turning into frustration and i am getting frustrated at no one else but myself.

Yea sure there is one other person that is going through the same situation that i am but at least she has people that are supporting her, that includes me. But there is no one that i can tell them about whats going on with me. Really i just can't explain the situation at home without them being at a total lost.

These days there is nothing that makes me happy. Seriously nothing. When i shop, my reason for buying something would that it would be useful. I have begun to supress my own wants because i have realised that wishing is something that only gives you hope.

The reason, that has surfaced recently, to explain the situation at home lies on a basis that i used to believe in its existence but have never experienced it before. It is this reason that has gotten my mind so messed up that leads me to being so frustrated at myself that i have to tell myself to calm down and not to lash at anyone.

The amazing thing is that i have not lashed at anyone, not a single person and that includes those absolutely irritating call centre people advertising their non existent products. But the frustration that builds up is really weird, it makes me mumb and the person who asks nicely if i am fine, gets a blank reply of i am fine and nothings wrong.

Being frustrated at others can be gotten rid off by rationalising but being frustrated at your ownself is being plain silly and nonsensical because it does not achieve anything.


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