Monday, March 12, 2007

Memories and thoughts

Going back to school today and seeing it deserted (I forgot its the 1 week march holidays now) made me realise how much i enjoyed going for Geography lessons, be it lectures or tutorials.

The lethargic feeling that we used to experience after the double Lit lectures used to keep us at the benches in the Atrium before we finally lugged oursleves and our bags up to the Geog room, is something that i miss. I know its weird - about a year ago i often used to cringe at the thought of having to undergo an info heavy session but i always used to attend because i clearly remember that i used to enjoy the lessons despite the fact that i hadn't finished my tutorials. Now, its all going to change, even in University - if i dont finish my work, it aint going to bother the lecturers because it shows that i haven't got the self-discipline thats needed for University.

Just like what Mrs Chua told me this morning, in Uni i am going to have to do all my things alone. Its not like i never handled my responsibilites well, its just that the amount of guidance that we are going to be receiving is going to be minimal. Just like what Mr Chen used to tell us last year, he isn't obliged to come after us if we don't complete our work as he has already gotten his degree - but he still did because he did care (in a different way). Likewise, the professers in the Uni aren't going to come after us because 1) they aint obliged to do so and 2) it aint their job.
So its going to be a hell lot of brushing up once Uni starts.

Like people say, Uni life is the one time when we can have fun. Yeap thats for sure but that one statement has loads of assumptions. It can be assumed that the fun can be derived if the course you have decided to read is one that you enjoy or two it can also mean that we can have fun without any worries as there is no one that will come after us besides the police and the parents (if they are strict - if not most parents aint the least bothered). At the same time, people that are able to stay within their limit can have enjoy and have their share of fun without putting their future careers at stake.

There seems to be loads of options but i guess the lesson that i am going to take is that which i came upon while i was rollerblading yesterday. Just like i have wheels that allow me to go faster but it is the stamina that really determines my speed, likewise i do have opportunity to decide my future however the actual outcome of my future really depends on whether i do have that determination to make full use of my oppurtunity. Just like how i need to keep looking ahead to ensure that i do not loose my balance but keep looking down to ensure that small stones or gravel do not unstabilise me leave me scars, i need to keep optimistic so that i do not get depressed but at the same time i should keep my feet on the ground such that i do not loose my focus from reality and be wary of the small matters that can have a huge negative impact on my life.

Life seems to be really uncertain today. Last year seems as if it happened ages ago but it isn't technically . Today, i feel that i have lost my drive to be somewhere because of the impending decisions that are to be made and the following wait for the admissions approval.

I try not to be lethargic but i really can't help watching the T.V even though i know i have those 2 library books that i want to read.

All this has just made me realise the goodness in education. For that, i thank my parents, my teachers and my friends.

P.S : Doesn't the last line sound alot like the ending line of what the Oscar winners usually say? Oh by the way, i met Mrs Tay or also know as Jerene by Andy who complained that the current batch of J2s are difficult to teach. So in response i just joked about our batch being the best batch to teach, without seeing that Mr Max Cheong was nearby . So i got a huge, enthusiastic loud "YES" from Mr Max followed by a "definitely/absolutely" from Mrs Tay. Its such a nice feeling to know that the teachers actually liked us (including me considering the fact that Mr Max Cheong know me well enough). I am a happy happy person right now because i shared a couple of good laughs with Mrs Chua about my job and this incident just made me feel better!


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