Disappointments in life

Well there is a rather dull period ongoing for me.

Harshness in every person. They could be right while i am ignorant but to pick on the small details and lash out at me seems rather.....how do i say it.....harsh.

If i am really as incapable as they make me out to be, why don't i get the same response from others? For me to keep proving myself to their expectations and standards gets rather tiresome.

When you get to much of a certain behaviour, it is sure to rub off its pessimism. No matter how hard i try to keep myself cheered and appreciative of life, there has to be a direct or indirect way of the blues hitting me in the face.

I have always hated comparisons with others in terms of material goods and standards as a kid, but now it seems that i may be rewriting my own rules without knowing it.

People keep saying that if we hope for the best we will get it or we may end up with better than the situation that one can be in, but it seems that if one hurdle has been surpassed another comes and presents itself with much splendour. If the situation wasn't bad enough, others ensure that they rub in the harsh realities with much force that i am left wounded.

Sure i am happy go lucky and carefree but situations do have a way with spoiling a major portion of a rather good day. Thus i tend to have my insecurities that i work hard on hiding. Putting on a brave front. Crying behind closed doors and wiping them off before showing up in front of others. Putting off my wishes to facilitate others. It is all rather frustrating when not one ounce of appreciation is shown.

So if there is anything i can do....is to enjoy the minute things in life that is offered, to dream big and pray that it comes true.

AnneJ