Sunday, April 23, 2006

Thats it, i am out-if i can........

I thought i would be able to feel better after a gd nite's sleep but the horrible tormenting thoughts, the puffy eyes in the morning has just made me more firm in my decision. I am not going for debates anymore, i do not want to hurt others any longer. I am sorry for everything, my ignorance towards all your feelings, my complete insensitivity and everything that i have done and not done. I have been knocked by this feeling countless times especially when i had to go up to Ms k and face the fire but i took that in my stride, even previous encounters with the Grls, i think i hadnt made myself clear and i took that in my stride. Maybe i should have withdrawn from the team in the very beginning since the day the lineout was out. Maybe i shouldnt have been so caught up in the prop case that i didnt hang around with those from the opp and this resulted. Maybe i should just walk away. Denise thanks for everything you told me just now on msn but seriously this grl here has given up and is walking away from this for the good of everyone else and their betterment. I will just tell Ms K that i want to concentrate on my studies and i am sure she will buy that, its not like i did fantastically for my block test. I will never forget those times spent with the Debator Grls as they are those memories of my jc life that are amongst the best no doubt, but these memories do not change the way people have been viewing me so its only best for me to walk away for good. I doubt if anything will be able to pull me back into Debates again as it was never meant for me. I am sorry to all u grls again....i do not have anything left to say but that i am sorry.


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