Monday, June 12, 2006

Do what you want

Just want to say this. I am not the kind of person to chase after others regarding unimportant stuff. If i have given u loads of missed calls, i think the onus is on you to call me back. If i learn about something and clearly all of you knew it but me, forgive me for my ignorance, forgive me for telling you assuming that you didn't know, forgive me for not asking about things that i do not know. You may seem in you own world, your blog might be dormant and you may not reply to my messages, you may stop chatting with me half way through online,so I let you be because i (forgive me again) assume that you are busy, i do not feel the need to chat with you like my other friends and there is no need for me to see your reply to my byes and most importantly i respect your privacy and away/busy status, however your interaction with others and your tags on others blog seem to prove otherwise, i may be wrong, so clarify if you feel so.

I am fine with whatever you propose, i never kick up a fuss or anything (keep this in mind), so once you have decided how to contact the person concerned and regarding all of the details, do let me know. If you need my contribution, I am only a call away, if i do not pick up my handphone, i am sure you have my house number. I will never deny helping out or anything. I am serious about the alumni. I often do not venture to ask or discuss about the alumni online assuming the following above once again and due to your curt answers. I am not the kind to butt in and keep meddling once my service is not needed. Whether its voluntary or not, I do not care. I am not pissed here or anything, if you would like to insist otherwise go ahead, i shan't stop you. I am just stating why i do not bother. If i am in the wrong, i will accept. I may seem blunt here because i am being blunt. Clearly, i had to write all this down because you obviously do not know me well enough. You do not know that I am a person that gives other space if they seem to hint at the want to stay away etc, I respect your decisions. I hate to see the way this is all going, once a team and now individualistic thanks to the team lineups of the two competitions, despite all my efforts to prevent this. But i guess its my fault for not making myself clear i guess.

I do know that i do give a 1st impression of do not mess with me but i think this last year ++ should have thought you more than judging me by that 1st impression especially when i feel that my actions have proven otherwise. I do not feel missunderstood right now, I feel that I have simply wasted everything right now, especially all the dedication and the need to bother about others. Sometimes I am amazed, when I see how easy it is for others to forget all the good done to them by others. Maybe i did it all wrong, maybe all that i did wasn't even worth it. Yea sure, its nearing the time of A levels right now and its time to be selfish and start not bothering about others, but hey i am not that kind of person. Maybe i should learn not to bother if others aren't bothered. Perhaps its easy for you guys to erase all memories but you know what, it aint easy for me after all the fury i had to face, all the missunderstand and having to clear it all out thanks to all your misconceptions which weren't even due to me.

Gosh, i hate what i am thinking and feeling right now. I am sorry if i hurt your feelings, but you know what i think its time to think about others as well(as clearly emplified by your blogs), especially myself. I am sorry, I think you ought to know me well enough by now that all my apologies are sincere.


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