Sunday, March 05, 2006

When a Drunkerd speaks, it all comes out from the horse's mouth!

Having found you lying on the floor like a spineless human being and confronted you about what you were having, i also learnt what has been the cause(s) of your need for "release" by getting drunk. 1st is your sucky past which you blame on mum, her family and everyone else but yourself when you were the one that couldn't manage your life and 2nd you inability to accept that others are better than you and 3rd your absolute f**king stubborness. According to you a good father and husband is one that brings home the bread and butter and thats it, FULL STOP, nothing more than that. You say that your wife is making a servant out of you, ACTUALLY its you who treat your wife as a servant, as "she has no right to no anything about my money and what i do with it". I just do not see your rationale for anything. You keep harping on the past, on the present and the future, which no one has a darn idea about. You say its mum who screwed up your life, well if that is true who screwed up your first marriage since she didnt even no you the. Why the need for a farce infront of others to show that you succeed in giving up your alcoholic ways when you still sneak around and drink yourself stupid and senseless. Your pervert mind and falsly inflated ego is the main reason why you cannot let the past be, you cant learn to forgive others or what has happened when you don't even forgive yourself as you are infallible according to that pea-sized brain of yours, you keep fuming over what isn't even here, you keep being a hypocrite to everyone and to yourself as well, you can't handle relationships because you only take and never give and finally you keep living in your own dillusional world. You ask me to be your friend, and that is a fast one in itself as friendship isn't a one way thing as you aren't being a friend to me as you are an inconsiderate bastard. You cant clap with one hand, so don't expect anything from me or mum. ~to those reading this, i know that you will be taken aback by my language and the content but what i type isn't false and i mean every single thing that i said. I am not slandering anyone, i am just stating the facts that a man who calls himself a very good father and husband refuses to acknowledge, so do not take this personally and if you feel offended by reading this, i am sorry but you do have to accept that this is my own personal space, thank you.~

This is not the first time i have heard and experienced, first hand, the way indian men treat their wives in a Chauvinistic and degrading manner. A thing to note is that all these couples are well educated especially the men, earn good money and most of them live a lifestyle that is not tied down by age-old customs where women were treated like cattle, but have a western/ americanised way of life however the VERY SAD thing is that despite all the education(which is supposed to nurture an individual not to be prejudiced and learn to be objective) and a completely different lifestyle, their mindsets have not changed unlike their way of speaking and clothes. I am not branding all indian men to be such but there still remains a percentage who continue to behave in this manner, that brings down the image of Indians being wife beaters. If such cases in rural india occured, they would be understandable but not acceptable, because these people continue to live in age old traditions where somehow there is a compromise despite the injustice. All this reminds me of the books written by Jean Sasson on behalf of Princess Sultana.

I just do not understand why respect cannot be given freely and have to be fought for. I understand that trust is something that often requires some degree of time and other circumstances. If one gives another respect, isn't it only fair for that person to return it as well. Perhaps it could be due to the lack of acceptance. Whatever the reson is, i feel exhausted both physically and mentally, i am tortured mentally and i am afraid of what is to come.

Once again, i have blogged about something that has no solution to although i feel better from ranting. I am sorry once again, if i have offended anyone. I do not mean to offend anyone but my dad. Although i am saddened by the situations that keep arising, i can only pray that things get better for one and all. Reading a couple of my friends' blogs, clearly tells me that i am not the only one who is depressed, down and lost. All i have to say to my dear driends is that things may always not turn out the way we expected but the least we could do is to let the past be as the events have already occured, what we can work on is to use this as a stepping stone to move ahead. Its not bad to look at the past but it is harmful if you continue to live in the past thinking that things could have been different.

Thank you to all that have always been by my side and i sincerely pray that situations improve for the better.


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