The end of Charmed

Today, the last episode of Charmed was aired in Singapore. Besides the absolutely gorgeous actors that Charmed always cast, i actually learnt about another lesson: The need to think with your brain and your heart.

If there is one thing that Charmed that has always emphasised besides the fact that Good triumps over Evil, is the emphasis on balancing emotional and intellectual reasoning in all situations - no matter what kind of extreme situation that one can be, feelings and personal bias cannot reign over your lives. Calculated risks have to be taken and one must have the guts to go along with that decision even if others may express their doubts regarding it.

The A levels are finally over and i feel that i have done what i could do. All i can do is to pray and move on with life no matter what happens. Seriously a paper qualification may decide the kind of first job that one may get but it does not necessarily determine one's success or failure.

I have to do loads of things and learn loads of things and i am willing to meet up as long as i am told in advance and not last minute. I am not a last minute person unless you are planning something absolutely informal. Any way i am just kidding, just contact me and i will let you know if i can make it.

Cheers to ya'll and Good night - although the night is still young.

Rachel Hale - an amazing photographer

I am melting in my chair, not because i saw Johnny Depp or any other really hot guy but rather because i went to this site http://www.rachaelhale.com/Default.aspx. Goodness, the lil doggies and kitties were so darn adorable.

All i could think of was telling these lil things to stop acting so darn innocent and adorable. The shots are amazing especially with the natural and simple style of Rachel's as well as the subtle juxtaposition that she does.

There is one picture where this adorable brown labrador puppy - i think looks lost and sad being surrounded with the pink roses. This picture just left me perplexed as to whether i should laugh or whether i should really believe that the little pup is really that lost and he aint such a good actor like the other dogs that i have met.

I would love to get a coffee book of Rachel's pictures. Maybe i could...once i start to work. But really till then, a visit to her website will suffice.

I want to get out - i really do

Despite all the joy of knowing that the end of the A levels is here, there is a tinge of forlornness in my heart.

Yeap, the exams are about to be over but i just cannot see past it. I just want to start anew.

Last night i was freaking pissed with myself for absolutely no reason and over issues that i have no control of. I was really seething with anger and i actually surprised myself when i replied a snappish No in response to my mum's genuine concern as to whether i was feeling cold in the car.

I feel that i am too cloistered here in Singapore due to my parents and their ways, the preplanned route that one has to take without questioning in Singapore and the fact that i can never get out of Singapore cause 1) my parents ain't rich enough to sponser my education overseas 2) if i do want to get out, i need a scholarship and i do know my own limits - i am not scholarship material 3) my parents are too cloistered in their own world for them to allow me to go into the supposed big bad world all on my own.

Besides, what I really want to do now is to go off to some other huge country where I can be someone based on my own merits -I can work for myself; be liable for my own actions such that i will no longer be falsely blamed for things going wronged and not having anyone claiming my credits, as i know that i do not point fingers at others just to save myself; if i am sick and tired of the place, i could go off on a weekend drive, have a breather and then start the new week all fresh and happy and finally i will not have to fend for anyone.

If you want to say that i am escaping my problems, i think u have got it all wrong. I have never run away from any problem till now, i have always met these problems and got them over and done with and cast the remains aside. I just want to get away from probems that are a result of others actions. I am just tired of the kind of life that i am living right now and i just can't do anything to make it right because seriously a divine miracle is needed to to make things go back to how things used to be. But even if things were better i doubt if i will be able to feel the same way because really the relationships have been too severed for them to as great as before.

Sometimes i do wish for a guardian angel that would come and take me a way and ask me what is it that i want to do in life. I really do not want to be another one in the sea of people that are going down the road that has been taken before and will always been taken.

I am not criticising Singapore. Yea sure it has its merits: its safe, clean, has a good standard of living etc etc.

Its just that i rather go off to another country and be a 2nd class citizen on the basis that i am an immigrant rather than being a 2nd class citizen in Singapore on the basis of my parent's income etc and more importantly being overshadowed by those high salary earning expatriates and the extremely "bright" foreign talent. ( I may sound childish, but this is how i feel, i am not condeming the singapore government or anyone. I am just frustrated.)

Today was the first time i understood why Maya Angelou used the title I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.

I will belt out my horrible rendition of Tis the season to be jolly on the 23rd because i will be happy that the exams are over. But at the same time, another phase of my life will be gone once again in the same manner like those before. I just do not want the same to happen for the time that is lying in front of me.

I really do wish that i could do something.

My dream boarding school for my daughter(s)

I just came across Emma Williard School and i am completely in love with it. It has always been one of my dreams to study in a boarding school since i was 4 years old. It must have been all those Enid Blyton books that i read especially Mallory Towers and Saint Clares'. Although i can't get into one of these schools as i am in grade 12 and am on the verge of completing it, i have decided that i shall work really hard in the future so that i can send my daughters to a boarding school without any worry about paying the tuition fees etc.

What really drew me on to Emma, as the school is informally called, is the activities they have like Creek night - a secret, annual event where much of the student body running to and swimming in a nearby creek late at night, Senior Triangle - a large triangle of grass in inner campus where only seniors and alumnae are permitted to and the breaking this rule results in "carding" and Eventide - a ceremony where candles are placed all around the senior triangle. All these is Mallory Towers reincarnate. I feel as if i have lost a part of my childhood by not having gone to a boarding school.

My reasons for being crazy about boarding schools:
1) They are either exclusive to girls or to boys. In such environments, children learn more from each other especially if they are of the same gender because they are receptive. It is often noticed that children learn and bond well with things or people in which they find a point of similarity with themselves. I am living proof of it having done 10 years of all girls schooling, i can happily say that i have learnt so much from these 10 years thanks to the memories and the great times that i have had there.

2) Boarding schools encourage children to be smart in the sense of fending for yourself, learning how to live with others and being able to get your work done without the minimal help/guidance that is provided. In other words, children learn to be street smart without having to live off the streets and coming in contact with all that is going on on the streets.

3) Children learn to appreciate the meaning of having a permanent home and a family, they no longer take family members for granted as they realise in a boarding school, no one can be taken for granted and no one will be willing to help you out unless you ask politely. Such values become ingrained in a child so that they will remain with them no matter where they go.

4) Related to point 2, children learn to make decisions for themselves after weighing the pros and the cons. If they do decide to carry out an action and receive unfavourable consequences, they will keep this incident in mind and learn to be more calculative in the future as no one will be there to help them out of the negative consequences or protect them from it - like parents would.

5) The surrounding natural spaces and interation with nature teaches them to appreciate nature and its works. This appreciation will lead them to care for nature in the future.

6) The perks that are associated with being promoted to a higher level gives them the drive to work harder. Although the Senior triangle may seem silly to us at this age, it actually does make an impact on the juniors. This not only makes the younger ones respect the seniors but also keep in mind how much they despised being treated badly so that they will remember not to bully their juniors.

7) Due to the long period of time they stay in a boarding school(ranges from 2-4 years), these children will remember this experience - both the good and the bad - for as long as they live.

8) As it is well known that the best thing parents can give to their children is education, by sending their children to a boarding school, parents give their children 2 oppurtunities: obtaining education and the ability to discover their niche and weaknesses as these children during their stay at a bording school will be able to do what they are better due to the wide variety of core and supplementary subjects that they are able to take.

Although i will not force my daughter(s) - if i do have them - about going to a boarding school, if they wish to go, this is the one that i will send them too.

As for getting my dream come true, its Yale University that can make it come true. Maybe i should aim to go there for my further studies in the future.

Gosh i am just in love with boarding schools. The Architecture, ambiance, campus life, the location of these schools in rural - like areas and the independance that one gets by being in a boarding school really draws me to them. Hope i can go to Yale University some day.