Saturday, April 29, 2006

Before the Rain

The Photos which i promised, they really look amazing. Its sublime and very gothic atmosphere. The wind was amazing and try to see if you can see the leaves caught in movement for one of them. Handphone pictures are too good to be true although a good digi cam would be nicer :> hope you like them.... Oh and do move ur cursor over the pictures, i love the way they switch around, its fun to do it or maybe its just me....hehe

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Adher; You da MAN

Yesterday, thursday, was another one of those fantastic days when everything seems to be going like what we would like it to be. I am still smiling from all the fun, it was a beautiful day.

It started off with me receiving an sms from Mr Low our paper 8 tutor who could not make it for lesson as he was on MC. Once this news was known to the early morning crowd( those that are at the GO benches before the morning assembly either doing homework-copying- or slacking or catching up on sleep) Evie called up Ms Lim Pei Wen and managed to shift our econs tutorial up which left us with 4 free periods straight. Thanks to the breaks, the early morning crowd decided to go for class breakfast at Macs in Elias Mall. After a hearty breakfast ( i was completly filled with the ice milo), we started work on the plac-cards for both Adher and Anand. Once Ewis drew out the words, Evie and I started work on Anand's first till we realised that we might use up the black marker and since i was doing the outlining i had to switch to Adher's and started working. All together the boards took up 4 hours. Adher's card was feared to turn out inferior but the opposite was true as i promised that i would make his the best. The continous outlining made my brain go quite numb due to the horrible paint fumes. Despite all the hand, shoulder and back ache-Adher's card is Evie's and mine pride and joy. Thanks to all those that helped us in a way or another which accounts to the whole class. Its sad the Anand's card the reads: Anand Seek 'n' Destroy had a horrible surface which prevents the silver marker from flowing well although i did manage to make the outlines bold-er which helps although it still looks like a mess from near. Adher's card is classic, its yellow with the words: Adher You DA MAN. The card looks simply amazing and Adher has requested for it once all the matches are played ( oh he told me yesterday online that he has still kept the one that we made for him last so touched coz last year as well i helped out with the outlining and ended up with cramped hands, well i do not care about the cramps as he is a wonderful guy and soccer player!) Marlina, if you do have a digi cam, could you please take photos of both the cards and put them up on your blog? thanks so that i can have a picture as well.

So the entire school day was spent on the cards for me as i was really picky on making the outlines bigger and perfect. I will only feel satisfied once i have amended Anand's one and my job is over. Although i will be fiercely protective over them.

Once school was over, i rushed around the staffroom till the porch like a crazy women and got to Tpjc by the buses that Ms Lai decided to provide for the supporters. The 1st half was sluggish and it was tough to keep up with Number 9 from Tpjc who was really good and was much bigger than J khoo( number 3). The 2nd half, with Fabian on the drum, the cheers picked up and so did the Match, i cant exactly remember who scored the 1st 2 goals although it is the same guy but the 3rd goal is the most important as it was dear Adher who scored it. What made the goal even more memorable is that Adher came zooming towards us as I shot his card right up as I saw his shot zoom in the air over the goal line. Adher's goal allowed us to win 3-2 despite the biased referee that was blind to all the fouls tpjc was committing and awarding a yellow card for no darn reason when it was actually that dumb tp player that decided to slide in between an MJ player's legs. Once again it shows that the MJC soccer team is definitely above the notch as they can still win despite horrible conditions: referee and plasticine like field.

Today wasn't exactly that great although there are a few events that would be hilarious: Me saying to Nicholas "you made me sticky" (which sounds really wrong) when he poured water on my hand-sticky coz it was hot n humid which doesnt allow for fast evaporation. The 2nd is Jashan's facial expression in the toilet when she fantasised momentarily about her crush who was not in school and prevented her from having her daily dose of eye candy. Sin Yi said some hilarious things as well but i can't seem to recall them although i do remember what Dr S said to Mr max cheong "eh stop showing off and go back to your position" and about Mr Naresh; "make sure the paramedics are ready and running when Mr Naresh runs". Dr S is simply hilarious all the time, Mr Chris Chen is able to catch us off guard by being able to tell that it was Nickelback's song that was being played and proclaimed that Nickelback's Photograph is one of his fvourite songs. Oh and Nicholas happily made loads of blunders while being the emcee for Colosseum( the new and more class-ier name for Sports day) like saying the new record for 4x400m( ot is it 100m?) event timing was 3.53 seconds instead of 3.53 minutes(trying to imagine those guys to run their laps in under a second is hilarious and those guys must be on more than steriods or have superpowers).

In all this week was amazing and the walk home from the busstop was cool as the wind was blowing in full force as it was about to rain and i waited for ages trying to get good shots of the sky and lightening and managed to take two really cool ones. Its amazing to see how the colours and shades of the sky can be so different yet so similar and sublime. Since i cant seem to post them know, i shall post them tomorrow...Gd nite to all

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Rain, books and sweet slumber

I love to watch the rain fall, I love getting wet in the rain although I haven't been able to do so as I am usually caught in the rain in my school uniform and I cannot afford to get my shoes wet as I do no want another Nike experience where my shoe strings broke (don't ask how) and it took an entire weekend for them to dry up as I realised the my soles have began to detach themselves and the 2nd reason is the I had recently washed my Adidas pair and I do not want to have a grey looking pair instead of a nice white and blue one.

Despite all this, I love watching the raindrops fall and splatter, I love the way the trees and all other vegetation respond to the rain by turning into wonderful shades of green, the calls of birds that are getting wet, the way the rain runs off the leaves and drips onto others, the way there is silence despite the constant pattering of raindrops and thunder. While I do not like a continuous downpour of rain like that during a monsoon season, I find that a sudden downpour accompanied with lightening and thunder seems to keep the balance in the natural world, it reminds us human beings who often think that we are in control of everything that Nature is still supreme. Although I am often frightened by loud thunders, it is amazing to see and hear how lightening and thunder work in tandem. I do know that there is a scientific and geographical explanation behind everything but sometimes it really does good to the mind to appreciate what nature has to offer in today's increasingly urbanised societies. The way the sky changes its colours and shades even if they are subtle makes everything seem beautiful, the way clouds change in shape, size and how the sun peeks out after a heavy downpour makes everything seem like the first day the earth was created.

I am not against development but I feel that sometimes many people forget to appreciate the little acts of nature in our own country that is often the same in other countries that are known for their scenic beauties. While I love looking through National Geographic's pictures on lands far away from home, I feel that even the Nature in Singapore isn't that horrible, as it may seem. Just like how models are made to look better by the way the angle/light is when that shot is taken, the angle/light of that particular area also helps to make the shot of a natural sight more exotic than it may seem (photographers are known to stay up and wait till wee hours to get the perfect shot.

When the rain comes, one of the few things that go along perfectly is a sweet slumber, which I had the pleasure of since I am let off early due to the absence of CCA. A nice lunch followed by a short catnap leaves not just me but anyone refreshed, I am sure Lisa can testify to this.

What makes the rain even more blissful is a wonderful book to read. Due to the ever-increasing piles of homework and readings and the amount of revision that I have to get started on, I always have to restrain myself whenever I go to the library. However I have made up my mind. This decision will allow me to continue being a good student and allow me to read the books that I want to read. I shall borrow no more than 2 books a week and I will read during the breaks in school and study/mug like crazy at home. I really hope that i can stick to my plan considering how books and I are.

Well this is another one of my long posts and it is a break from my usual ramblings of debate and the soccer matches. I feel good and motivated to carry on with my readings and revision so that I can achieve my aims for the Mid years. Hope you have a sweet slumber tonight.....

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Blogger is back on track...

It was really worrying yesterday when for some weird reason no blog on couldn't be updated, i didn't know that at first and i thought that there is a problem with my blog itself.

Anyway here is the update on the soccer match: the whole match (the entire match!!) was cancelled 3 minutes before the game was over as it was raining too much and there was lightening. Its really sad and i wonder how the players must be feeling as the MJ soccer guys were winning 5-1 with a hat trick scored by Zul(number 33) and 1 by Adher(35, he is Marlina and Marilyn's sweetheart, my hero and the others are his fans). Its time that we really get a banner kinda thing done for him, i think the national team coach is crazy to let him go. Besides that, Mr Chris Chen was fuming about the lack of dignity and self-respect that the RJC coach and teacher-incharge had as instead of conceding to the match, they want a rematch. It will most probably be on homegrounds and i have a feeling that i will be part of those that are going to bash the RJC side up if they try anything funny. Marlina suggested baking rock cakes but Vanessa told her not to waste flour on those people, instead we shall go hunt for actual rocks. I think a couple of us tomorrow who do not have CCA will be heading down to Popular tomorrow to purchase those cards and pens to design cards for Adher.

By the Way to all u debators, I will be making an announcement during morning assembly on Thursday regarding the debate competition on Sat. Saturday was simply jolly good time and we all had a blast. I just cant wait for the Debate Alumni to be started and runninng and all the future competitions that our juniors will be participating in.

Monday, April 24, 2006

How pathetic fallacy represents my feelings right now

I feel horrible right now, i was caught at a horrible crossroad on whether i should head down to support the soccer guys against rjc today or whether i should stay and go home to study for the econs essay test and the Gothic context text tomorrow. Lisa succeded in makingme guilty and my legs just carried me in the opposite direction from where the meeting point was.

To accompany my feelings the rain that seemed like it was slowing down, increased in its intensity and started pouring. I truely feel horrible and i think i will be able to pull myself together by the time i hit the books.

The feeling that makes it me dread tomorrow is that of flunking both my tests despite my heading home to study. By the way, lisa thanks for everything right from stopping myself feeling guilty over what happened over the weekend to making me feel guilty on not going for the match and studying instead. So with that, I will continue improving in whatever i set my mind to and right now its to relax and then hit the books, thanks grl for everything and lurve ya..... ;), well pathetic fallacy is indeed true as i am feeling better now and the rainfall has become lighter.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

The incredibles & it feels good to fall down and hit the ground

Watching The incredibles again has made me feel much much better and i have realised that no matter what i do not have the right to walk out on anybody if they tell me what they feel even though it has really broken me up from inside out. I have no idea if i am still going to be going down for debate trainings etc but from what i know that its a month more till we step down. The Debator Grls: every single one of them have been great friends but i guess somethings that are meant to happen will happen and no matter how strongly i feel about leaving something i guess i will have to complete the job that i was appointed even though i really sucked at it. I guess i am going to have to learn to be selfish and let others be, even though its easier said then done. If anyone tells me to shut up i will and go on and live my own life. So i am sorry to everyone, please do not bother about me, i guess i am a stubborn taurean but if something does happen that i do not like i will simply accept it and move on as i always do. I am sorry for hurting every single person who read my previous posts, i know i was a complete bitch but i guess i have too much on my mind right now to brood over this.

Sorry Sin Yi and Steph and to all those that were relieve that i wont be going down for debates and burst your bubble. Apparently i aint allowed to leave right now at this instance. Sorry

Besides all this i think i am really grateful for this instance as it humbled and humiliated me as well so that i do not remain on cloud number 9 for too long. I am fine right now, just myself and thanks to all that has happened, i aint that broken and the wound will heal with the passing of time. Thank you.....

Thats it, i am out-if i can........

I thought i would be able to feel better after a gd nite's sleep but the horrible tormenting thoughts, the puffy eyes in the morning has just made me more firm in my decision. I am not going for debates anymore, i do not want to hurt others any longer. I am sorry for everything, my ignorance towards all your feelings, my complete insensitivity and everything that i have done and not done. I have been knocked by this feeling countless times especially when i had to go up to Ms k and face the fire but i took that in my stride, even previous encounters with the Grls, i think i hadnt made myself clear and i took that in my stride. Maybe i should have withdrawn from the team in the very beginning since the day the lineout was out. Maybe i shouldnt have been so caught up in the prop case that i didnt hang around with those from the opp and this resulted. Maybe i should just walk away. Denise thanks for everything you told me just now on msn but seriously this grl here has given up and is walking away from this for the good of everyone else and their betterment. I will just tell Ms K that i want to concentrate on my studies and i am sure she will buy that, its not like i did fantastically for my block test. I will never forget those times spent with the Debator Grls as they are those memories of my jc life that are amongst the best no doubt, but these memories do not change the way people have been viewing me so its only best for me to walk away for good. I doubt if anything will be able to pull me back into Debates again as it was never meant for me. I am sorry to all u grls again....i do not have anything left to say but that i am sorry.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Hail Deborah

So today was the much awaited British council zerocarbon city debates held at ACJC, were up against VJ first who were prop tht means it was Jaz, Nicholas and Denise who were debating with me and Jashan as reserves. Following that it was us against St Nich's girls that are supposed to be really good and we managed a victory by a small margin with me doing the 1st speaker, Jashan as 2nd and reply(it was simply marvelous according to the adjudicator) and Nicholas with 3rd and as usual he was crapping and bringing up great points as well. For the imrpomptu round we were up against Dunman high that we rumoured to be really good as well but they were quite a dissapointment as their case was completely messy which made our case messy (and make the adjudicator do "a lot" of work) but we still won with Jaz 1st, Jashan 2nd n reply and Nicholas 3rd and Jashan being the Best speaker!

I was quite happy with the much deserved victories but this whole week has been gaving me a feeling of something amiss which i never quite knew about till today. The week was quite eventful thanks to Nicholas's antics of smearing chilli sauce on his school pants, spilling his ice lemon tea on his copied homework and watch his hardwork disappear, stood witness to his James Bond like roll over the GO benches to retrive his Clorets which i flicked thinking it will not travel far but instead flew right over the other row of benches, that resulted in his legs getting caught in the gaps and landing on his butt. The MJC guys once again beat TJC soccer guys to a score of 4-2 and the previous one against NYJC was amazing as they won 6 nil( it was a pity that i couldn't be there to watch the goals thanks to the horrible surges of PMS, speaking of which i have been feeling quite irritated till this wk began and it could be due to that...oh well it is a really horrible feeling that any girl can have). Preparation was really tough but it really paid off, the continuous improving of points and speeches, staying till late to complete speeches and find evidence. All the credit of today's debate undoubtedly goes to our coach that will be fondly known as Debbie from now on.

During the 1st round itself, Jashan had asked me if we would like to go to town later and I happily agreed for some weird reason considering i hadnt even debated yet.When this was known to the rest, they happily agreed as well and instead of watching a movie we headed down to Coffee Club where Debbie treated all of us and actually urged us to get more than just drinks. I am very thankful for treat and the time spent was simply amazing and loads of fun, it was a great bonding session with both our new coach and the J1 debators: Nicholas, Jazmine and Yih Ching.It was great to see the really cool and fun side of debbie that we rarely see and it was lotsa fun learning about things that we may not know about. Steph and Sin Yi had left right after the 3rd round and when i released immediately i realised what was it that i was missing. It is really depressing to know that my urges for them to join and seat together made them feel extras and I am truly very sorry for whatever i said because i never thought that what i say whenever i am in a complete joking and kidding mood would be taken seriously and considering i have always told everyone that i know that should they ever doubt my motives, it would be best if they are cleared them up instead of leaving oneself in the dark and assuming. I am sincerely sorry to both the Debator Grls and the J1s for everything and being an absolute horror, do not blame yourself for this as this is the indicator of my failure of achieving and carrying out my job. Perhaps i am still very self-centred and selfish but i will try to remove these horrible traits of myself for my others happiness as my happiness is always shortlived and always cut off by my very own actions. So i am very sorry to Sin Yi, Steph, Jashan, Denise, Jazmine, Nicholas, Yih Ching, Eugene, Rani, Sharmilla and Hwei Ting and everyone else that i have hurt through my behaviour consciously or unconsciously.

Being the kind of person I am, i will keep this in the back of mind, remember to improve and be alright as i do not pretend any of my feelings unless absolute necessary. To Debbie, i would like to thank you very much for all your constant coaching and faith. To everyone else, thank you for everything else. Today was an amazing day that will be imprinted forever in a page of my book of memories.

I hope these lines from Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten will be able to put my thoughts down more appropriately:
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined.
Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it, Release your innovations, Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips, Drench yourself in words unspoken, Live your life with arms wide open, Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten.
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines, We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way.

Oh yes and before i complete this post, i would like to wish the Debator Grls and today's team for making a wonderful debate team. Gosh we were really strong and completely on the roll, there was no way stopping us the minute we began and i think this is going to be continuing for a very long time considering that Ms K has given the green light to Sin Yi and Steph to go ahead with the proposal for a debate alumni. This will be the beginning of the Debating Culture in MJC for the many years to follow. Thank you once again for another simply wonderful day.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Debator Grls will go on...

The team line-out is out and I am disappointed and speechless, Firstly i was not really into the whole thing and was hoping that for the last time the Debator Grls can be the team and Secondly, I am debating in a speaker role that i have never done before. While it is comforting to know that I am the 1st prop Speaker, i can have a purely prepared speech, i am really afraid of completely messing everything up. Whats making me puzzled is when do I accept POIs. Thank Goodness i am only Debating once and can be the reserve for the next 2 rounds. I do hope we do go past the preliminary rounds and achieve. I know Jashan is great in her role as 2nd and reply and can easily get best speaker. Denise has proven to be a much better 3rd speaker than me and I do know that she can do a much better job than me as she is calm, composed and able to structure her speech in the way a 3rd speaker is meant to be. Deborah clearly has all her confidence on Nicholas as he is in all three rounds being a 3rd speaker twice and a 2nd(R) once and she knows that he will not be confused doing both prop and opp. I had no doubts about Jasmine making it as she is great in her role and I really have to get to her standard by this week.

What really saddens me is that the Debator Grls will not be able to prepare a motion together for this competition and deck out in Blazers to take photos but hey if Debates was what brought us together, it doesn't mean that it is what will keep us together. The memories of all the crazy stuff we have done which is completely non-debate related will keep us together.

Besides Debate, I have been kinda really pissed at the maid for her complete inabilty to remember things and carry out the simplest things. What makes the situation even worse is that she lies horribly to defend herself. All I know is that, I do not want another crisis again.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Hilarious ways of the Debator Grls

If it isn't crazy enough that we break out into peals of laughter during a debate and go crazy trying to scavenge the points out from speeches that we have no comments about, Jashan, Sinz, Steph and I had to go onto the track (which was bathed by the Stadium lights and the Beautiful and serene moon which left us all breathless, literally from the view and the run) and run 2 half rounds of 200m which would be equilvalent to a full round to let out all the negative energy that had beginning to brew in all of us since 6.15 today. To dear lame and sweet Sinz i am really sorry for being aboslutely horrible, you do know that if anything just come to me and I will give you a straight answer although i might go on about the full story to get to what you really want to know. To Steph, my fellow dear tauresean, its great to have another who can fill up your sentences with what i am thinking about. To the sophisticated Jashan, thanks a bunch for making me laugh like crazy and adding hand gestures to what i am saying, that point of time was really hilarious. To love-crazy Denise, Its completely wonderful to have a friend like you who makes others feel good. I simply have no idea what i would have done had it not for the 4 of you grls to keep me sane in Debates and preventing me from quitting it, Although i do look really insane today on the track with all the skipping, jumping, sprinting and almost whacking a canoeing guy in the stomach who was huffing and puffing and i had thought was Steph. We should do this more often. Memories really do go a long way.

So we have our names ready that can be used with full force to prevent detection: Valerie, Sharon, Rachel and Joanne. With the help of each others support, we will be able to achieve whatever we set our debator minds to. So in all we are a bunch of Grls who know how to be sophisticated, calm, weird, completely bonkers, and can let it all out when we need to by laughing absolutely insanely.

With that we really need to have our lil get together over night one of these days....

End of a great week and The beginning of the Mango season

Its Thursday today so its not the traditional end of the week but since tomorrow is Good Friday and there is no school which gives us a long weekend, it is the end of the school week.

Wednesday was great as i headed home early. Today was hilarious towards the end of the day during the last period when Lisa dear appeared during geography(it was 3 pm when school actually begins at 7.30) asked for the late form and got it with a laugh from the receptionist. She also taught us a new dance that i have named it as The Sakura Para Para. Lisa however believes that its jumping jacks as that was what we were supposed to do during P.E. It is an amazing aerobic exercise with a tinge of Lethargic-ness and Japanese flair. This creation seriously ought to be a new form of exercise that really "burns" calories.

Besides all the hustle bustle in school, The Mango season has entered my house as my Dad bought a whole crate of Thai Mangos. The style of eating is simply crazy and absolutely messy if you do eat like how i do. Anyway i will be going on about this in my later entries.

Rushing off to eat before debate starts....hope what we have been wishing for comes true....

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Amazing days

On monday, 10 April 06, The Meridian Soccer guys trashed HCJC 3-0. The entire team line up was tight. The goal keeper, number 24, was replaced with number 36, we still do not know what is his name. The 1st goal was a Penalty and Adher, number 35, nailed it exactly. Number 8, a J1, scored the 2nd. Zul, number 33, came on later to add the finishing touch on the defense line-up and scored the 3rd goal. There was no doubt that the HCJC guys were much bigger in size and were pretty vicious as they began shoving and pushing the MJC guys. In terms of Skill and teamwork, it was the MJ guys that took away that award. So its 1 cheer for HCJC, for a good game, and 3 Cheers for the MJ soccer dudes. Hip Hip Hurray!!!!

Today, I did something absolutely silly with Evelyn and Tricia. With my indian accent and supposedly calm composure, we gathered at the public telephone and after we did what we did, we just burst out laughing. There was no way stopping us. I lost the composure after the 1st task and ended up on the floor laughing my head off while Evelyn and Tricia who were laughing all the time, silently just broke out into peals of laughter. Well for those of you who do not have any idea of what we did, then take this as a hint and do not try to solve the mystery as you will not be able to.

These two days were amazing and i really do hope that the week continues in this fashion.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Satisfying Achievements

This week is complete, it has its highs and its lows, it was amazing and thrilling in a couple of ways but a few jolts to reality really prevented me from living on Cloud number 9.

Firstly, the Meridian Soccer guys have beaten the guys from AJC with a great score of 3-2. Actually the third goal was disqualified as it was offside and a majority of the fans could not see that it was offside from our position(parallex error etc). All the 4 goals were simply fantastic with Player number 35, 33, 22, 3, 6 and 10 making some of the greatest tackles and shots. Fabian and Harris roused up the supporters with their commands and Fabian's non-stop beat that would keep the cheers going to spur the players on. The difference that a loud support can do was proven on Thursday as the players kept on going ahead with the game despite the fumbles made by the home goalkeeper which actually awarded AJC their 2nd goal as a own goal. It was really obvious to all that the defenders tried as hard as they could and stretched their limits by trying to ensure that the ball did not reach any where near the goal keeper. This is really sad however this humiliation can be resolved if Fabio can replace him with a J2 goalie and train the current goalie for next year. ( If anyone is very outraged by my comments on the goalie and Fabio, I sincerely apologise, i am simply stating the facts and sometimes facts do hurt. It is nothing personal. My blog is only personal about me and no one else.)

My 2nd achievement came on Thursday itself during Debate Trainings, which stretched on till 9.50 pm due to the marked improvements in all.Jaz, Nicholas (thats 2 J1s) and I were teamed up by Deborah as the proposition for the debate and we did a seemingly great job as we Won!!! Jasmine is really great as a 1st speaker and would be boosted if she has a strong team behind her. ( For some weird reason she says that my eyes look like those of a praying mantis. Now this really boggles my mind, i have been comlimented loads of times and have been told countless number of times that my eyes are scary but I have never had my eyes compared to a praying mantis. Sherry in her own explanation compares my eyes to those of a deer and i can accept that as they are big and brown but not exactly round. I think its kinda insulting for my dear eyes to be compared to a praying mantis's as firstly i do not even know what a praying mantis's eyes look like and 2ndly I do not like the thought that comes along with praying mantis = vicious. I am absolutely not vicious or stick-like. Jaz, help me out of my dilemma by offering a reasonable explanation please...) Nicholas is great in his own weird, dellusional stalinistic way as a 2nd speaker although he reminds me a bit of what Jashan told me about Eileen from the HCJC debate team last year as you can never know what they are going to say until you hear them say what they have to say. I finally broke through my inability to structure and achieved a compliment from Deborah for my speech but i have to work on my elaboration under a point and its sub headings as well as learn to decide which points to rebut which would really hurt the other team(not in physical terms but in Debate-y terms). Th opposition was made of my other J2 debator Grls and i often felt as drawn towards the other side. Oh gosh, i think its because of the J1s calling me boss and for those who do not know, they ask for the reason and when they learn of it they gleefully tell me that they are going to be calling me boss as well. I guess there is no harm in calling me boss but its just that they call me boss during school hours. This is what causes the problem for me as i am not used to be called boss all the time and i am often walking around in a daze either due to the previous lesson / the one that is about to follow or due to the lack of sleep. So do forgive me if I just walk past not acknowledging your presence or respond to you calling me, just wave a hand infront of me and i will shake out of my stupor and find you in my line of vision.

Despite all the wonderful Achievements, i have been feeling rather worried about dear driends of mine who have been going through pretty upsetting situations that have made them emotionally unstable which has resulted in them doubting their self worth, abilities and I feel that they seem to have lost whatever self-confidence they once had. I could be wrong and i could be right, i just have no idea. I just hope that i can be there for them should they ever need me and i can help them out in whatever way possible. I think its because of my nature that i cannot bear to see others in tears or feeling depressed as it wrings my heart. This was actually made worse by seeing the cartoons drawn my refugees from North Korea who are in hiding and aided in the production of Children of the Secret State. I was speechless at the end of it. The atrocities are unspeakable. The actions carried out by the military were too shocking, all this made it seem that humans are indeed very beastial in nature as they have not learnt to respect fellow human beings and are inhumane as they cannot feel anything when they are carrying out those atrocities. I was so sick at the end of it that it made me feel good to "torture" myself by running all those 10 rounds and completing all those crunches and pushups which made the pain go away. No matter how hard i try, i simply cannot remove these pictures and images from my head as they are imprinted for life and would only be superceded if i can help to make a difference in that situation and many others that continue to plague this human race.

This week seemed promising and has been promising. The achievements and the plights of others have made me feel humble and remind me of where i am. To all those that are feeling down, remember there are people out there in this world who are worse of then you with the exactly same kind of problem but their's is magnified loads of times. If it helps listen to Craig David's Walking Away. With that, I would like to wish everyone a wonderful International Friendship Day......