Friday, June 30, 2006

Fate, Destiny and Choices

These last couple of days has left me in a daze, due to both the mid years and whatever is going on in my life. I do believe in Fate and Destiny but i also believe that the choices we make will still lead us to the path that we are fated/destined to but the path can be varied due to the choices that we make.

Edmond in King Lear can easily just brush off his father's belief in astronomy by calling the "excellent foppery of the world" because he was an independent man that wanted to change destiny in his own hands by usurping his father's and brother's property. His plans and his opportunistic nature definetely gave him the status that he wanted but it was not for long. He was defeated by his brother and died a fatal death. His choice to become the Duke of Gloucestar was fulfilled but he died at the hands of his brother. His destiny was fixed: being killed not with the status of a Duke but a Bastard(illegitimate child, its in the dictionary).

Fate and Destiny,I believe work hand in hand, maybe it is I who cannot differentiate the two from each other. Life has been planned out for us and yes, we do not know what is in store tommorow or the very next moment. If you were meant to achieve something or lose something, it will happen. Here i do not mean incidents of losing the house keys or your handphone(s). What i refer to is the building or breaking of relationships. While a young couple may gain a new life in the form of a little baby, they may loose their parents. There are lots of such analogies. Besides the loosing and gaining may be metaphprical, like the severing of relationships between individuals or vice versa. These incidents may not be occuring in a consequtive manner but the fact that they do occur is the point that i am trying to make here.

Our choice to do something or another is a major part of our life. Choices are made by everyone-be it consciously or unconsciously, they are made- right from the day we are born till the day we pass on.

Fate , Destiny and Choices come together to bring us to where we are today. Life is full of surprises-haven't we all heard this phrase so many times that its meaning is lost at times. The surprises may not always be joyous, they may not be shocking and they may not exactly be of a sudden nature, but they are surprising.

One major component of any life is Love. Steph's blog has not only enlightened me but has made me ask a lot of questions regarding this issue.

As quoted from her blog: "As the quote goes "How much you can forgive is how much you love". I think this is very true just take parents and children for example no matter what wrong the child has commited, sins, crimes, addiction to drugs. The parents still love their child just as much. No matter how bad a child is the parents still lvoe and weep for them.

Now, this brings me to my next point will there be a point where love turns to hate? I think that it is possible, sometimes we love a person so much and we end up hating them becuase they might not love us as much as we love them, they do not know our existence, they do things that hurt us because they know we love them and hence take us for granted take chances in doing certain things that we do not like...........

We love because deep down inside we hope to be love but not everyone is as fortunate. Let me use chemistry to explain, love can form stong intramolecular hydrogen bonds that is bonds between atoms they are strong like those love in a family unit. However love cannot for intermolecular hydrogen bonds that is bonds between molecules which means to say love cannot form between people who don't know each other, people of different races, people from different countires in general strangers don't have love. Thus war happens there are different distribution of wealth, some starved to death some stuffed with food. If love is really in air then perhaps the world will be more beautiful, people will be more happy and take joy in the many little little things. We look at people in Vietnam, they are smiple, they are not rich BUT THEY ARE HAPPY and they care for each other. I doubt that lvoe will ever be in the air of the world at least not this century hopefully genes will undergo mutation and secrete proteins that code for Love!"

Her poetic way of portraying her feelings really did touch a nerve in me as I can really put myself in the situation. The first question that came up when i was reading her post was if the possibility that parents will always love their children lasts forever? Does the child's love for them remain for all their life? I find myself disagreeing due to the situation that i am in right now. I think my inability to forgive my father does reflect my lack of care and concern for him. I have come across numerous cases(real life not the incident from King Lear-which is actually a universal play that anyone and everyone can relate to) where parents have severed ties with their children and have never forgived them. The issue about the Parent's love for the child that makes them take such an incident is Very debatable. My views right now could be emotionally-linked.

Her question on the possibility of love turning to hate is very possible according to me. I completely agree with Steph's stand on that.

Finally her statement of us loving another, for our inherent need to be loved is another one that applies to me personally and many others, I believe.

You may be wondering why i sloted in the topic of Love all of a sudden. It is because Love is what i believe to be made up of the 3: Fate, Destiny and Choices. While Fate and Destiny could have planned out the final stage at which this relationship may reach, choices made by inidividuals is pertinent as the final stage could be reached in a faster or lengthier timespan.

Maybe this post is a little to self-absorbed. I am sorry. If you made it through to this point, I say that you have immense patience. Perhaps I am just emotionally at a lost.

I feel caught up in the tide of Destiny and Fate, I often find myself trying to shut myself from the world but always fail miserably life i always do. I will just carry on and pesevere for the future that has been planned in academic sense and the rest I will just leave it up to God. Maybe this situation is just meant for us(especially me) by God to test our endurance level. I hope I can come out of all this in one piece as I know I cannot expect to be unscathed at the end of it all, as I already am.

Monday, June 26, 2006

I hate Addiction and huge inflated Egos

I am just so fed up that i could slap my dad till his mouth swells and he can't get a single thing into his mouth let alone swallow it. Thanks to his addiction or should i say his love for alcohol, he is becoming a complete ******(add whatever you want here). I still do not understand how someone can be so darn angry and foster those feelings inside. The anger is not a result of others its a product of his denial to accept reality and face the truth. He finds everything and everyone against him. What makes me even more pissed is the fact that he is giving up everything for this stupid inanimate thing which gets him on a 'high'. His humungous ego gets inflated everytime he drinks and starts to hallucinate about being able to face the world no matter what.

I just do not understand 2 things: Addiction and Ego(especially the male one, no doubt there are some women with huge ego as well). This two things are the root of all problems. Tell me it is money and i will laugh my head off. I know loads of freaking rich people who are absolute humble beings living simplistic lives. They find no need of going after the famous DAS(Drugs, Alcohol and Sex).

If money is the root of all evil why isn't Bill Gates(who is clearly the richest guy in the world) more threatening than all the terrorist networks in the world. If you want to say it is an insignificant minority, go ahead and think whatever you want to, i ain't going to stop you.

If you say money is still the root of all evil, why is alcohol and drug abuse/dependancy higher in Poorer regions/ ELDCs than in EMDCs? Why do patriachal soceities exist in ELDCs and not in EMDCs? Why is prostituition rates and spread of STDs higher in ELDCs than in EMDCs.

If the Rich and Famous are caught red handed in the act of DAS or either one of them, don't you think it will give loads of media companies a huge cash inflow as the world clearly likes Gossip, when they make huge cover stories day after day, following these poor people and all those that knew them, like leeches to a blood clot. I am not saying that I am against the Media or Gossiping as its human nature to want to know about the downfalls of those at the top of the Corporate, Entertainment and all the other industries in the worlds.

The reason why i can't stand Egos are because once you stop nursing them, flattering them and do not deliver what they want, the person with the huge ego will think nothing but about himself and start lamenting about the hurt that he has suffered, yada yada. If you are a person who are fantastic in that field and have been credited for it, some amount of Ego is acceptable because you are good in that area, there is no two ways about that. If you have the talent/flair that others do not have, even with that huge ego/arrogance, people who need your talent/flair/whatever will come and even beg because they clearly need you.

However, if a person is just an average person with nothing special, but with a Humungous ego that needs constant flattery etc , My Question is what is that Ego about? If a person thinks that he deserves his Ego on the account of being one of the Male Sex, i say rubbish. I am not being a femenist here or anything. I just believe that no one should have the right of over powering another just because he has a huge ego or is of the male sex. Maybe I am a bit femenist here.

If these people continue to live on the basis that their ego is continuously inflated by others, I am sorry to inform that the day when they realise that they are not needed or of no importance to others, that will be their worst day. These people will get so depressed that their will to live will be completely demolished.

Ego and Addiction are inanimate things that not only ruin the particular person's lives but also those that love them. The unfortunate thing is that when these people are addicted to something or have a huge ego, these people are blinded by them. These addicts or Egoistic people cannot see others that are being hurt by their doings, all they see is their own selfish interests and "needs".

Today, DAS is becoming more common by the day. It is rampant everywhere. Egoistic people are becoming more egoistic by the day. Once someone is caught in the tangled web of either one of them, there is no turning back unless the will and determination to really change for the better.

I just want to say that teenagers being the easiest to be manipulated due to their multiple insecurities, please beware of addiction. Do not get drawn into these lures. I am sure there are loads who are willing to talk to you and care about you, please turn to them instead of splurging money on your addictions for that momentary high which does not remain untill it kills you. There are loads of way to conquer your anger, get out of your depression and become your normal self again. Nothing is impossible if you have the will and determination to stay away from being addicted.

For those who are in relationships or will be, i just have this to say, Love is blind so please be careful about your future. Sometimes your heart may show you the right way but do take heed of what your conscience has to say, Do not try a relationship to work if it is not working especially due to another who is either unwilling to give up/caught up in their little fantasy world of addiction or ego because they will be married to these inanimate things.

Denise, this is why i always agree with your posts.

If you want to try something, do take a second to consider about the amount of hurt that others who care about your existence will undergo forever. With the help of another, anything is possible. Please do not ruin you life especially if another does not bother about you. Move on and start again if you have to, you never know what is behind the bend on the road unless you take it. Most importantly, take responsibility of your actions and do not live in Self-denial.

Sunday, June 18, 2006


I had promised myself that i would stick to going through all the power point presentations only but i just had to loose my mood and feel sad. Gosh, all this is taking a toll on me. I really feel horrible and torn.

My revision is really pathetic, i really do hope that my brain will be able to absorb and understand everything next week, if not i am a goner for mid-years.

I feel horrible for trying to be ignorant of a family member's activites. It really sucks when i can't wish him on a special day that is set aside for all people like him. What makes it worse, is the stuff i recall that makes me dislike him even more. Its amazing how it doesn't hurt anymore, when i think about all that happened, because it seems like i have stopped caring about him. I feel that i should forgive him, but i know i can't. I hate this feeling, i swear. All this is making life miserable for me.

Yea it may seem there are no fights going on, the cold war seems better, but the fact that it is a war shows that there will be dire consequences for both at the end of the day. I think i am just confused. All i want to say here is Happy Fathers' Day to that person even though i didn't say it out loud to him, as his relation to him is still a fact and i still acknowledge that relation.

Please ignore this post if you do not understand what i am talking about.

Friday, June 16, 2006

I think i am going bonkers

Ok i am mad, no maybe crazy. That i am, no doubt. I think i have just lost it. I have come up with weird songs these days( on milk and franz ferdinand's do u wanna). I think i am just going nuts from the realisation that i have just a week to go before the mid years start.

I am at a really horrible stage. I seriously wonder sometimes why i do what i do, like blogging right now. But then again, it could be that my brain just can't take no more of my notes. I really need a break, a break from studying. I can't wait for after the A's. Actually who can't wait for the A's to be over, to have given your best shot and yippie thats the end. I am really going bonkers.

Now i understand the phrase of running before your mid years and doing the last sprint towards the Prelims and the final dash to the A's. Gosh, i wish for something. I am getting restless again. I am at a lost at times,sometimes i wonder what i am going all this for. I do know that i have a fixed career set in my mind that i really want to accomplish. But the question remains if i will be able to get there and if i can really make a difference like i really want to.

Sometimes these days, i have no idea of what is going on. Sometimes i wonder if this is what education aims to achieve. Will students remember what they learned at this age, considering many do not stick to what they have leant. Will they apply what they have learnt, in the future besides their job, if they do stick to that line of study. Then again, there is nothing else i can do but to go with the flow and achieve what i want to achieve, give my best shot and maintain my sanity at the end of the day. I really do hope at this time next year i will be happy and satisfied and not the reverse. I know i can make this come true but right now i need a break-just for tonight.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

I want to watch all of Oprah's movies

Ok, i shan't repeat my title, but i really want to watch all the movies that she starred in, has produced, i want to get her 20th anniversary dvd collection and gosh do i wish i can get to a status like hers. She is my idol.

Oh and do you know that she is 52 years old, gosh i used to think she was in her 40s. Nevermind about that. Gosh she is such an inspiration for me, ( i do not think i can ever right don't why she is my hero unless i have all the free time to spare right now, "my love is more ponderous than my tongue", so i shall let Cordellia from King Lear to do my job for now.)

Gosh what can i do, except to study.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Weird Craving

I just got the weirdest craving that got so intense that i had to go make some cereal with sugar. I mean its really weird, i have never liked cereal with sugar, i always scolded my mum for adding suger to her cereal instead of honey, which is my favourite. I mean cravings are usually associated with pregnant women, and there is no way i am pregnant. The thought of it just makes we want to laugh. My mum just brushed me of with this: " it shows that you finally got down to studying". Actually it makes sense, i was doing the Econs Tys which requires calculations. Come to think of it, after all my Math tuitions during sec 4, the tutor was a real math questions driver (which payed off, A2 for both E an A math, yippie). I can still remember clearly that after all my tuitions i would be one hungry person and will upset the whole kitchen if i can't satisfy my hunger and usually hunted for food with sugar.

See this is how Math can make a person go nuts. Thats is the exact reason why i did not choose the option of 4 subjects. Gosh this was freaky. Actually, i did have a measely lunch so the craving could be justified and i haven't had cereal in more than 2 weeks since holidays began as cereal is my morning energy booster. Oh well, i am fine now. It was one freaky thing that can happen, i think my mum needs to stock up during the mid-year examinations on all my usual junk.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Scorpian Prowler

I haven't worn by blades in more than 6 months but they were as smooth always, even on all those bumby surfaces, they seemed to glide over them. They were a wonderful gift that i had asked for and received from Royal Sporting House where the best roller blades are stored for leisure bladers like me.

I am absolutely exhausted from the non-stop skating. I went to get a new route for myself, but i can't stand those grills over those huge drains on the pavements, i just can't stand the look of them especially those rusty kinds which threaten to fall right down with a little bit of pressure. Especially when skating, i can't stand the irritating bumby ride over them so i have to get my pace right to skip them.

Its amazing how it can also be quite mentally exhaustive. The need to look out for those small stones or twigs that jam your blades and results in a nasty fall, ( i have had 2 nasty falls resulting in horrible knee scabs, i think my knees are the most bruised area since young) and to look far ahead for pedastrians, crazy drivers and the traffic lights.

Whats really sad about skating is the lack of company as i hardly know any who skate, especially those living around me. Most i know, own bikes and do not know how to skate. Even then, many do not like to head out to bike for leisure, its weird i tell you. I have never gone skating at Pasir Ris beach, i think i should ask Marlz during the study break and others from our class for a ride at the beach. Untill now, i have frequented East Coast with my grls, however carrying my skates there and back is quite a hassle.

I guess i will have to postpone all that till after A's now and find try to find another route to that park whose name i can't rember. After the A's at least i will be able to visit that ranch-like thing that has been set up at Pasir Ris and their horses. Maybe i should take a couple more lessons in India this time round on mares - they are tougher to ride coz not only are they much taller than male horses but they are quite temperamental as well. Oh well, lets see how it turns out, its better not to dream too much and be dissapointed.

Do what you want

Just want to say this. I am not the kind of person to chase after others regarding unimportant stuff. If i have given u loads of missed calls, i think the onus is on you to call me back. If i learn about something and clearly all of you knew it but me, forgive me for my ignorance, forgive me for telling you assuming that you didn't know, forgive me for not asking about things that i do not know. You may seem in you own world, your blog might be dormant and you may not reply to my messages, you may stop chatting with me half way through online,so I let you be because i (forgive me again) assume that you are busy, i do not feel the need to chat with you like my other friends and there is no need for me to see your reply to my byes and most importantly i respect your privacy and away/busy status, however your interaction with others and your tags on others blog seem to prove otherwise, i may be wrong, so clarify if you feel so.

I am fine with whatever you propose, i never kick up a fuss or anything (keep this in mind), so once you have decided how to contact the person concerned and regarding all of the details, do let me know. If you need my contribution, I am only a call away, if i do not pick up my handphone, i am sure you have my house number. I will never deny helping out or anything. I am serious about the alumni. I often do not venture to ask or discuss about the alumni online assuming the following above once again and due to your curt answers. I am not the kind to butt in and keep meddling once my service is not needed. Whether its voluntary or not, I do not care. I am not pissed here or anything, if you would like to insist otherwise go ahead, i shan't stop you. I am just stating why i do not bother. If i am in the wrong, i will accept. I may seem blunt here because i am being blunt. Clearly, i had to write all this down because you obviously do not know me well enough. You do not know that I am a person that gives other space if they seem to hint at the want to stay away etc, I respect your decisions. I hate to see the way this is all going, once a team and now individualistic thanks to the team lineups of the two competitions, despite all my efforts to prevent this. But i guess its my fault for not making myself clear i guess.

I do know that i do give a 1st impression of do not mess with me but i think this last year ++ should have thought you more than judging me by that 1st impression especially when i feel that my actions have proven otherwise. I do not feel missunderstood right now, I feel that I have simply wasted everything right now, especially all the dedication and the need to bother about others. Sometimes I am amazed, when I see how easy it is for others to forget all the good done to them by others. Maybe i did it all wrong, maybe all that i did wasn't even worth it. Yea sure, its nearing the time of A levels right now and its time to be selfish and start not bothering about others, but hey i am not that kind of person. Maybe i should learn not to bother if others aren't bothered. Perhaps its easy for you guys to erase all memories but you know what, it aint easy for me after all the fury i had to face, all the missunderstand and having to clear it all out thanks to all your misconceptions which weren't even due to me.

Gosh, i hate what i am thinking and feeling right now. I am sorry if i hurt your feelings, but you know what i think its time to think about others as well(as clearly emplified by your blogs), especially myself. I am sorry, I think you ought to know me well enough by now that all my apologies are sincere.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Tongue Twisters that trick tongues

I just realised while chatting with Wan Wen that i have always been interested in tongue twisters since the 1st one i learnt and memorised from Pets textbook in primary school, its still my favourite twister till date. Presenting Betty Botter:

Betty Botter had some butter,"But," she said, "this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter,it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter--that would make my batter better". So she bought a bit of butter,better than her bitter butter,and she baked it in her batter,and the batter was not bitter. So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

Fanna, the new Hindi Movie had a really cool song about tongue twisters, have to go hunt for the lyrics.

In response to Wan Wen's suggestion on my tag board to hire playmates, i asked her where is such a thing possible. Instead she suggested fishing fishes out of the sea and my response: Yuck those slimy, slithery things that stink. Then i realised that i had just created a wonderful tongue twister with the last 5 words. I also created the title of tongue twisters that trick tongues.

Here are a couple more, that are reallu hilarious and keep getting my tongue ties and twisted, from a website i found:

1) A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

2) She sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely seashells.So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

3) Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See,Which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!

4) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

5) A tree toad loved a she-toad Who lived up in a tree. He was a two-toed tree toad But a three-toed toad was she. The two-toed tree toad tried to win The three-toed she-toad's heart, For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground That the three-toed tree toad trod. But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain. He couldn't please her whim. From her tree toad bower With her three-toed power The she-toad vetoed him.

6) Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack; sheep should sleep in a shed.

7) You've no need to light a night-light On a light night like tonight, For a night-light's light's a slight light, And tonight's a night that's light. When a night's light, like tonight's light, It is really not quite right To light night-lights with their slight lights On a light night like tonight.

8) Of all the felt I ever felt, I never felt a piece of felt which felt as fine as that felt felt, when first I felt that felt hat's felt.

9) If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

10) Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie managerimagining managing an imaginary menagerie?

11) Once upon a barren moor There dwelt a bear, also a boar. The bear could not bear the boar. The boar thought the bear a bore. At last the bear could bear no more Of that boar that bored him on the moor, And so one morn he bored the boar--That boar will bore the bear no more.

I have always had loads of fun with tongue twisters, not only are they good conversation starters but it is a good way to pass time as well. I have always been taught during the speech and drama sessions(i really enjoyed them and can still remember how i stapled my finger while trying to make my cat mask for the musical play we did Cats, those white ladies were really amazing) that i had at CHIJ KC primary and during debates as well, tongue twisters are easy as long as you make sense out of them. The easiest are the ones whose meanings are obvious. Oh and do not take them too seriously, it takes time to get tongue twisters right, so have fun with them and have a good laugh if you can record what you end up saying the 1st time round and if you repeat over and over again, it becomes a jumble. Best to do it with a friend or in a group and if you can time for how long you can make sense of what you are saying without jumbling it up. Enjoy ya'll...

What makes a Blog interesting

While was surfing through blogs today, i remembered that i hadn't gone to a person's blog for about 2 months now and decided to venture there. The blogger, a tj debator, was tagged by an anonymous tagger who claimed that his blog wasn't as interesting as before. What intrigues me, is the fact that i happen to agree with anonymous. I have read that particular blogger's entries from the past year and have seen a great difference in his blogging ways-perhaps this is the exact reason why i have not visited that person's blog. This is where i find myself agreeing with mr/ms/mrs anon here: the lack of opinion. The reason why i read blogs is not really to learn about other's daily activites or juicy pieces of gossip or find out who is washing their dirty laundry in public. The actual reason is for me to read other's opinion regarding a issue or whatever there is. I mean i am not interested in reading about another's private life to say the truth. By reading my classmates blog i get to view the same situation during which i was present, through another's perspective. By reading blogs, i also find that i learn about others who tend to be rather introverted-by this i refer to their character.

You may think, that i am not entitled to say all these things especially about opinions etc considering i may not actually be following what i preach. Well, to that i say that my blog is a true reflection of who i am. I clearly remember that i wrote in 2nd post, this blog is not my personal diary, it is a place where i write about things that i feel can be shared with others:not necessarily the whole world but at least those i do know personally and others who may chance upon my blog.

Yea sure, my blog when compared to others would be pretty uninspiring or whatever but i stand by whatever i have up here. My blog is about who i am, so i would be living in self denial if i refuse to accept what i posted on this blog. I accept that i am not as well-versed in writing down my thoughts as others, however i think that i am happy with who i am write now as i do know that i can improve if i want to,especially when i do not plan on pursuing a literary career. Till today, i have never found myself regreting about whatever i have posted up here. I do not mind others putting their rants up,however, i do not feel that others are justified to face my wrath, anger or whatever i have against others(if you feel otherwise, i urge u to read those posts again, they are about what i think, although i could be wrong) because i am the kind that will either tell the person what i feel or hold my silence forever unless that person instigates me again.

Besides, sometimes a person's blog may go downhill simply because of the lack of inspiration, i guess. There is no way anyone can expect a person who is obliged to put his/her nose to the books and literally study in a sweatshop like condition in order to be free of the education system and still be able to come up with brilliant ideas to blog/publish about unless that is their full-time job. I have heard this countless of times from my parents: sometimes you have to give up your leisure/play/whatever else in order to excell, however in my case i simply cannot stick to that advice. I am pretty sure that many students after spending hours trying to grasp a concept or memorising some terminology/or spending hours in school due to school related activities, feel drained and cannot think about a single issuebut that of sleeping.

However, what really makes me sad is to see a person lose themselves in the pursuit of something. If a person changes for the better yet still retains his/her character, i say brilliant but if a person changes and looses his orginal personality(reminds me of Frankenstein) i say this person needs a break because he no longer has a mind to formulate his own opinions and tends to just live by on the details of his activites which everyone, present during those activities, would know. This is where is ask, how can that person actually stand out from the rest without his opinion. Yes, there are times when 2 or more people have the same opinion, however the fact is that while their opinion is the same, at least they do have a opinion compared to none at all.

I do know that loads of people think that having an opinion can negative or can get one into trouble however i really do think otherwise. I have found that by learning a person's opinion has actually made me think otherwise of a person in a good way. I have always stood by my stand of everyone having their own opinion and are entitled to it, that is where blogs come in: to be able to voice your opinions without being asked to and without being reprimanded for it.

I may sound blunt but that is really who i am: blunt and straight to the point unless i have a motive behind doing otherwise. I have never meant to hurt anyone through the presence of my blog. If i have i apologize. If i have made you feel anything but good about anything, i say i am sorry and i suggest that you do not read my blog. I say be yourself and do what you believe in, take in the views of others especially those close to your heart. If you do not consider me a close friend or anything along that line, i say do not take to mind what i have to say. I do accept that i often talk nonsensical and ramble on, i could possibly be doing so right now. So this is where i leave this matter to be-in your hands.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Hearing my mum curse the lady who cut my hair is hilarious, direct translation is "I'll go whack her on her head with this pan. " With the arrival of the holidays and being able to spend more time at home which translates into spending more time with my mum also translates into more time for me to irritate her in a good way. Its actually quite hard to actually write down what i would be telling her as it is mostly in guju. This is exactly what amazes me at times, how i can just associate speaking with my mum with guju, considering the lack of MT for more than 7-8 months now. Teasing my mum and irritatin her into making stuff for me is something without which i cannot say that it is a holiday.

I have no idea but i have been feeling absolutely extra restless today which results in me not being able to sit down and concentrate on a single topic. I have started blog hopping again and came across a couple of interesting things: American Indian blogs, more food blogs, JKhoo's blog on how Fabio speaks and pronounces(i can actually imagine Fabio speaking in that manner). What seems to make this restless feeling worse is the guilty conscious which in reality is supposed to get me back at my desk. The lack of updates on my classmates blogs, the offline status of most of my classmates except for Evelyn, the heat and the summer rain which makes me even more restless, the urge to cook up something, the urge to watch TV etc is just making me restless. I think i have mentioned restless a couple of times now, so i think it is pretty obvious that i am indeed very restless. Gosh, i have no idea what is wrong with me. I haven't accomplised much for any topic. I guess the consolation is that i do know the stuff well for the topic which i started with.

I think i can cut myself some slack and slack of for tonight and get back to plan(there is no plan/timetable...haha besides just revising) tomorrow morning. I think i should go roller blading and swimming to work all the extra energy off. Thats a good idea...lets see if i actually stick to it...haha

Oh i just realised that i have taken to blogging at this time between 8-9pm. I have no idea why but i get this feeling that there is a reason for doing so. Could be coincidence, i could be thinking about it cause i am restless, there could be a reason behind my blogging at these times or maybe it could be a mixture of all three, i haven't got the slightest inclination.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Weird happenings

Today was the day when i had to go down to Orchard Rd with my mum and her best friend. The day started out with visiting the High Indian Commision aka the Indian Embassy for my aunt who had to get her visas done.

This is where all the weird things start. Since it was not specified on the website or even when my aunt collected the forms that there was a need for a photocopy of the front page of the Passport. Since there was no service for photocopying at the embassy itself, i had to run down to takashimaya from grange road and back. What surprised me was the amount of time i needed to run to and fro:8 mins flat, considering the lack of exercise etc.

The next weird thing that happened was my mother pressing me to get stuff for myself when she is always the one who is always complaining that i spend on unnecessary stuff when all my cupboards are full and i never get out of my usual clothes. I liked a pink and white Pocillini hand bag and my aunt treated me to it. Gosh, its always fun going shopping with Females older then you who try to relive their youth by getting nice things for their daughters/friend's daughters or just out of the kindness of their heart, or maybe its a mixture of both and i think in my case it was the 2nd reason being the dominant want and the 1st reason being a subtle unconscious one.

When i was completely exhausted at the Singapore Airline's office at Paragon and my mum who always wanted to speak to her friend's son who is the same age as me who is in Melbourne who did one of those fast train programmes and is in Uni now(forgive me for all the who's and long windedness, i guess i am just tired), decided to call him up. Now this is where the weird part comes in. He inquires about me and asks to speak to me !! I ask why ? Ok, i do know he is a guy that has a nice nature etc, yada yada. We have never exactly been on talking terms not in a bad way but because we have never found any time i guess. Does he still remember what i told him through my mother who told his mother who told him what i said when he was leaving? That was actually how a large part of our conversations took place. Gosh maybe he is just being nice and is deciding to be nice. Oh and if you ever come to my blog, just wanna say thanks for inquiring, its a nice feeling and i am sorry for not asking about how you are and how's life there. Your voice isn't as deep as it used to be, its nice to hear that you lost some weight and i hope that you get to have a couple of bars of chocolate at Melbourne and do not get some ailment related to the lack of chocs. Well i can't wait to chat with you once you are back from Melbourne which will most probably be next year and when you get time off NS.

The final and most weirdest thing that happened, is the lady at the hair salon that always cuts my hair did somthing weird and left me with hair thats just below the length of my earlobes but above my shoulders. It looks alrite right now. I am not to enthusiastic about it. Actually, come to think of it, this is how i always feel after any haircut. I really need time to get used to my new look which is really a look that i have never had. I hope it grows fast go that i can get it layered either after the A's in Singapore or India.

I am really exhausted now, i am happy with my gift of a new handbag, i guess i will be using it during the hols after A's. Its a nice simple bag. It suits me. Whats really great about shopping is the company actually more than the act of shopping for me as shopping is not retail theraphy for me. It makes me hungry and tired which makes me sleep which is actually not a good thing considering that i will tell my mother to go to sleep when she comes to wake me up at 10 tomorrow morning and i will start my actual revision and mugging late. Well i think i will add a little more slacking to my slacking done today more before I eat and hit the sack smiling while thinking about all the wonderful but weird happenings of today.